Can I get a Do Over?

I'm having one of those days. Nothing earth-shattering. Everyone is healthy, we've got our jobs, cars and lots of abundances but I'm . . . in a word . . . melancholy.

It just so happens that it's September 11th. Could that have anything to do with it?

Audrey told me yesterday that she had to wear red, white and blue to school today because there was a "war" on this day. That brought on a discussion about the actual events and it shocked me that I had never actually discussed it with her and there I was telling her about it. She was born in 2002. To her, Sept. 11th will always be what it is today. There was no "before."

There are so many times I wish I had a "Do Over" or "Rewind" button. Oh . . . how cool that would be. Sometimes, I just need it for a few minutes . . . Let me take back what I just said . . . And sometimes longer than that.

If I had the opportunity, just how far back would I rewind to make things right again? A year or two or seven?

Of course, it wouldn't do me any good to rewind if I couldn't take the knowledge I have with me today back there. Without knowing what I know now, I would probably make the same damn mistakes and follow the same damn path.

So . . . having said that, I guess there's no need to look back, is there? I'm smarter and wiser today because of where I've been. Perhaps these are just growing pains I'm feeling today then. Awww . . . that makes me think of my mom. Every ache or pain was explained away by growing pains. What a mysterious thing they are!

Yeah, well . . . they can go away now. I was never a fan.

I have lots of things to be thankful and happy about. And just to remind myself, here are just a few highlights:

• Audrey went into school all by herself today. I've been driving her there all week and today was the first day that she confidently didn't need me to hold her hand all the way down the hall.


• Vivian sings "Hit the Road, Jack" and "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" out of the blue sometimes. She misuses words all of the time in a funny way. This morning, she needed help putting her socks on (after trying to do it "by myself"). She then said, "Mommy, can you do this yourself?"


• Curt is holding down the fort while I'm at rehearsals every night (man . . . more on that later). I come home to a clean kitchen and clean kids and a husband who's happy to see me.


• I have loads of friends that I miss seeing (also because of said rehearsals and busy weekends). I haven't seen them . . . but hey, I have friends!


• I love my family and extended family.

Okay . . . I'm cool now. Thanks for listening.